I Must Be Doing Something Wrong: Hot Moms in Showers, and Demons Among Us

31 01 2008

I enjoy reading blogs about the weird search terms that have lead people to the pages of others. So, here is my own installment. It’s not pretty, and it makes me think I’m not writing about good, wholesome topics. Will I be sorry when my blog is pulled up on my judgment day? Yikes. Maybe I need more blogs that I can tag as religion.

I say this because people are NOT finding my page by searching for the following tags:

“Jesus Loves Me”

“Trying to be a good Dad”

“Work Hard and Be a Nice Person”

Let’s just say I seem to be attracting a different sort of searcher. In the past month, the following internet searches have somehow brought poor souls to my page:

“Banging ex-girlfriends in 2008” – Why 2008? Is it the official year of boning exes on the Chinese Calender?

“Wolf face” – Ever since I wrote about my experience with a wolf spider, this one has come up several times. Sorry for those of you looking for info on the wolf man. A spider is not quite as exciting. (Makes me think I should make up a blog about how I was lost in the mountains for days until being saved by a guy who was half-wolf…I’ll have to think about that one. Wait, I’ll make it a she-wolf; that should also satisfy some of those who search for things like the next one.)

“Nasty sick mudbath sex video” – To my knowledge, I have no (public) blogs about mudbaths or sex videos, but I’m sure glad you stopped by.

“Giant wieners” – I’m flattered.

“Demons among people” – If I start to get comments from someone named Beelzebub, Brimstone Mommy or Hades Dude, I think I should delete them (unless they are one of my top referrers, of course.)

“My Dad saw me naked – I’m a girl!” – Poor thing. I’m afraid my writing would only further traumatize you.

“What female age groups still wear pantyhose?” – I don’t know, but I’d be fascinated to hear the stats.

“How women should ride on top” – I’m thinking if the person has to search for instructions, they aren’t ready for this type of thing yet.

“Hot Moms being spied on in the shower” – Are you talking about my wife? Must go check bathroom ceiling for spy cams. That last plumber was in there a long time…

To ensure that I continue to get weird searchers to my page, I’m going to add some odd phrases now. Lathered Llamas, intoxicated in a cab and craving donuts, how many people would fit in the average crane, why doesn’t the sun explode already, I have extra fingers, can I buy people on the internet, disturbing video of naked crazy animals, using lettuce as a hat. And lastly, to my loyal wolf face searchers, here you go:

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