Food and Sex: Pure Marketing Genius

19 01 2008

Marketing and advertising, though admittedly garish and annoying, are also fascinating. I remember studying subliminal marketing in college. Supposedly, cigarette smokers are obsessed with fingers and holding objects in them. According to the professor, who was armed with numerous slides, marketers used this in print ads by picturing smokers who had one or more fingers “missing” by having them obscured behind an object, or curled into the palm, etc. I don’t know if this is actually true or if it made people buy more of that brand of cigarette, but it was a more interesting class than World History.

I am more certain of another technique. If you are over the age of 8, you are fully aware that sex sells, and marketers are not at all shy about using it. I find it most interesting when it is used in naming food items.

There are some obvious examples of this and some that are a little more subtle. Here are a few of my favorites:

HoHos. Who thought this was an appropriate name for a snack aimed at kids? Was the brand Floozy Hookers already taken? Someone should start a boycott. I’d do it, but I’m far too busy blogging while watching tennis on tv. (My inspiration for this blog came from allimac. Check it out.)

Bourbon Balls. Now this sounds more like a medical condition than a food. Don’t try to tell me that I am reading too much into the name. They could have just as easily called them bourbon ovals, but no.

Wieners. Please. Can’t we all just call them hot dogs? Actually, it might not be fair to other meats that these particular items are referred to as hot. In today’s society, you don’t want to offend anyone. The poor polish sausages in the meat case might feel unattractive if everyone keeps calling the wieners hot. (I don’t even want to think about the self-esteem issues of cold cuts.) As if the term wiener wasn’t blatant enough, someone thought it would be a good idea to sometimes put the word cocktail in front of it just to add a little more innuendo. Even better, someone else thought there should be foot-long wieners. This is very insensitive. Some guys out there are made to feel very inadequate around these things. Other items that make a guy feel he can’t measure up include: Green Giant, “Big Gulp” sized soft drinks at convenience stores, and LONG john donuts (cream-filled for good measure). While I’m on this subject, it’s just wrong to make a guy say “super size me” or “make mine a whopper” while standing in a busy line at a fast food restaurant.

Donut Holes. That is just plain dirty.

Cheese Nips. Are these snacks more noticeable when it’s cold outside?

Extra Virgin Olive Oil. How does something get to be extra virgin? I’m thinking there is no virgin oil used when making Easy Mac, Wild Cherry Life Savers, or Pop Tarts.

Oh Henry! candy bars. I’m not sure exactly what Henry is doing, but he should write a book so that we can all get such an enthusiastic response.

Lay’s Potato Chips. Sad, just sad. At least their slogan is not, “When is the last time you got LAYed?” (Not yet, anyway.)

Pound Cake. Is this a noun, or a verb?

It could be worse. That candy with the slogan “melts in your mouth, not in your hands” could have been called S & M’s with just one small letter change.




15 responses

19 01 2008

Heh heh, he said wieners.

20 01 2008

Are bourbon balls related to whiskey dick?

20 01 2008

Sometimes I read your blogs and think, “I am married to a sick, sick man.” And then I sigh happily.

20 01 2008

Bourbon Ovals?! Awesome. What about Cheese Balls? Moldy, smelly balls. mmmmmm

20 01 2008

You forgot about Ding Dongs. 😛

20 01 2008

I feel compelled to say, “frankfurter.”

And don’t forget (because I never could) Ding Dongs. Originally known as King Dongs. I’m just sayin’…

20 01 2008

Hehe, I like ding dongs (the snack) too much to poke (no pun intended) fun at them. Were they really called King Dongs? Wow. This blog was like my 2nd grade dream come true…using words like “wieners” and “balls” repeatedly. Sad.

21 01 2008

OMG. This is hilarious.

I make sausage balls during the holiday’s, and unfortunately, this year we had just watched Alec Baldwin’s SNL “Schwetty Balls” skit. My prized sausage balls will now forever be “Schewetty Balls”, and family members will now make remarks like, “Alyson, I can’t wait to get my mouth around your Schwetty Balls”.

And. Huh huh, I said, “member”.

21 01 2008

But had you ever seen Bourbon Balls?

Honey Maid, Poppy Cock, Fruit by the Foot and Pop em’s are other favorites

21 01 2008

You said words like that in 2nd grade? Are my boys going to say stuff like that? I am so afraid.

22 01 2008

Hahaha…this was like a machine-gun-of-hilarity type post, if that makes any sense (hmm…I wonder if I’m obsessed with violence vs. sex…LOL)…

My favourite was the “hot” and “cold” comparison, how unfair!!!

And oh-my-gosh, I never thought how embarrassing it is for a guy to ask to be super-sized….

It seemed like overall in this post, guys have it rougher than I thought; you’re all brave and I commend you! 🙂

22 01 2008

Oh Yes, iwright, they will. My oldest is in 2nd grade and he finds nothing more amusing than a well timed fart.

23 01 2008

HILARIOUS!! I loved the post. There’s a candybar I discovered when I moved out west called Big Hunk…um, yeah. Slogans can give names a run for their money for sure “get the sensation”, “double your pleasure double your fun”, “put a tic tac in your mouth and get a bang out of life”…egads.

23 01 2008

Matt, You forgot to mention the “manpleaser” incident. As a cashier was scanning a Hungry-Man frozen dinner Matt had selected at the grocery store a couple of years ago, the phrase “manpleaser” appeared on the LCD display. Don’t tell me that was a data entry accident.

Matt only eats Hungry-Man frozen dinners for lunch now.

31 01 2013
inbound calls

Great blog here! Also your website loads up fast! What host
are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?

I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

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