One Screwy Year Later

29 01 2010

I’m no blog expert, but I’m pretty sure it’s poor blog management when you “disappear” and pen nothing new in three months, six months, nine months, or (choking gasp) nearly one full year.  I have been charged with the following offenses:  Blog abandonment, neglect of a diary-like webspace, and being a blog-block.  I am here to readily admit to being guilty of these crimes, which are considered felonies in the justice system of the blogosphere.  Unsure of the punishment I deserve, I face you, the jury and give the following defense:

A conglomeration of events occurred, causing my creative energy to be squelched.  Some of you may remember that I was chronicling the mystery swelling that was wrecking my physical health.  (Unfortunately, it is still undiagnosed and is not improved, but I am dealing with it and currently trying some extreme dieting ideas to try to pinpoint the problem myself).  At some point, there simply were no more words to say about it and no good news to report.  I didn’t want the blog to be a wallowing pity party, and it was becoming clear that there was not a solution coming any time soon.  That was event number one.

Around a year ago, my then wife decided that she could not handle my illness any longer and informed me she had filed for a divorce.  There were some signs (big ones, actually), but it was still a shock.  I certainly felt betrayed.  That was event number two, which actually counts as about one million events rolled into one since I was worried about what this would do to my daughter, custody issues, quickly finding a new house, selling ours, figuring out how to afford health insurance, etc.

I’ve certainly thought about my blog since then, but I just didn’t know what to do with it.  I considered deleting it.  I considered moving some of the past entries into a brand new blog.  Most of all, I just couldn’t stomach coming to it.  Until now.  I am ready.  I love my new house.  My daughter is incredibly inspiring (I do have co-custody and have her half the time), and I am a happy person at peace (except for the health issue, of course).  My faith is strongly intact.  I decided to keep the blog the way it was, sans a couple of “couple” pictures and some obvious updates that were needed “about me” in light of the situation.  I could go back and delete any entries where I praised my wife or that sort of thing, but the reality is that whatever I wrote at that time was the truth in my world at that moment so I’m leaving it alone.

So I guess I’m back in case there are two or three people out there who give a crap whether this blog exists or not and are willing to forgive my neglect instead of tossing me in blog solitary confinement.  By the way, this will not be a blog to rip my ex.  She’s a good mother; that’s all that matters to me about her anymore.  We’re on friendly terms.  I’ve chosen for the sake of my daughter and my own peace of mind not to be bitter.  That will be the last said about that by me.

My daughter, nearing kindergarten age, seems to be taking everything in stride.  I am very thankful for this.  She is the light of my being, and I never want to see her hurt.  She is currently obsessed with the idea of me marrying Trish from the television show “Clean House.”  At least she seems to have good taste!  Oh, and my daughter just asked me to be her Valentine.  Life is beautiful.

It’s good to be here and to get reacquainted with you.  Hi, I’m Matt.


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11 responses

29 01 2010
Stephanie of Stopbouncing

See, I knew there was a reason I didn’t pop you off the feeder.

While your story is not a happy one, it’s better than the one I had in my head.

Best Wishes.

29 01 2010
amandalinn

Welcome back. Yay for good fathers!

30 01 2010
tengrosita

Thank you very much for this post. A good read indeed…

31 01 2010
Susie

Holy crap. I COMPLETELY understand the blog avoidance thing, and the not wanting to write more of the same “I’m so sick, don’t know what it is or how to fix it” thing. Such a year you’ve had. You’re still on my bloglines, so I’ll still be coming over whenever you have something to say. Keep the faith.

31 01 2010
Susie

I also want to say, I’m sorry about your marriage ending. And I admire your commitment to co-parent in your daughter’s best interest.

1 02 2010
MrsDoF

Found you through Susie’s comments.
I left off writing for my blog for two weeks and Wow, was I getting e-mails of concern! but I completely understand about the strain of writing.
I’ll bookmark you in my Susie’s Neighborhood folder. Yes, I really have one :)

My brother is a great guy regarding his divorce. He says it is for the sake of his sons, but I know it’s because he is sweet and generous and forgiving, and so much like our dad who is, I am sure, watching from heaven.

2 02 2010
Taoist Biker

Good to hear from you again, man. Welcome back!

2 02 2010
maleesha

Welcome Back!

4 02 2010
pamajama

I saw the name “Matt” in one of Amandalinn’s comments and virtually ran to your blog :p) Like how many million men have this very popular name?

I have no idea why, but I just really like you, I held my breath a little bit worrying about you, and am especially glad you sound happy.

Was that an ass backwards compliment or what?

18 03 2010
Alyson

Hi, I’m Alyson, I have also pretty much abandoned my blog, and my blogroll, therefore I just now discovered that you are back, and I AM THRILLED. I was worried.

P.S. I listen to an XM station (41) called Hair Nation, and I think about you and your daughter every time they play Dokken, which is often.

19 03 2010
Matt

Haha, can’t get enough George Lynch riffs! It’s good to hear from you and the other bloggers again!

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