10 Random Facts

1. About half the time I’m putting shoes on, I wonder if there is a spider hiding inside.

2. In elementary school (at a Catholic School), I remember a time during a school church service when a hymn was played that included the words “O Bloody Head Surrounded” and I happened to look at one of my friends. I was not trying to be sacrilegious, but the line just struck us as odd and funny. We spent at least the next 10 minutes trying desperately not to laugh out loud and get punished. I remember acting like I was coughing, sneezing, etc and even shoving most of my fist in my mouth and biting down almost to the point of bleeding in order to try to stop laughing.

3. Also in elementary school, I was tired of a kid that kept copying off of me during tests. I saw him doing it again so I purposely put the wrong answers down. With a couple of minutes to go, I changed my answers while basically covering up my paper. I remember the panicked look on his face.

4. I think the most beautiful part of a woman’s body is the small of the back.

5. In high school I wrote about a 30 page satire of Star Trek just to poke fun at a friend who loved the show. It was called, “Star Fleck: Ivory Curtains and Iron Plastic, These Are What I Desire.”

6. I have seen the following people/groups in concert (most, but not all in the 80s): Frank Sinatra, Loverboy, Huey Lewis & the News, Dokken, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, Bryan Adams, Bon Jovi, .38 Special, Kim Mitchell Band, Queensryche, Type O Negative, Reba McEntire, Sara Evans, Jamie O’Neal, Martina McBride, Carolyn Dawn Johnson, Barbara Mandrell (way back with my parents), Night Ranger, Heart, Autograph, Zebra, Weird Al Yankovic, Foreigner, Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Seether, Neverset, and mini sets by many country stars on two or three trips to the Grand Ole Opry with Allison, including Alison Krauss, Emerson Drive, and Kenny Rogers. (I’m sure I forgot about a couple of opening acts, but I put the ones I could remember).

7. In college, I had a short story accepted to a national conference for college fiction. It was called “Bat Out of Hell” and was about a baseball player who makes a deal with the devil in order to make it to the major leagues.

8. In kindergarten, I flunked “scissors” on a report card. This was one of my mom’s favorite facts about me. I still can’t cut out a circle to save my life. However, if you need a sloppy blob cut out of construction paper, I’m your man.

9. I walked in on a suicide attempt by a patient at a state hospital while doing “15 minute checks” when I worked 3rd shift there. The guy had very tightly tied a boot lace around his neck and was starting to turn blue. I worked my finger between his neck and the string while yelling for help. Another worker came with a scissors and cut the string. The guy was okay (at least for the time being; he often ingested dangerous objects).

10. At around age 6, I saved my allowance to buy a new McDonald’s character glass (such as Ronald or Hamburglar) each week. After I completed the collection, the Mayor McCheese one accidentally was broken while two of my nieces (we were all about the same age) were visiting. I was so distraught that they held a “funeral” to help me feel better. Every once in awhile, they still bring up “the funeral for Mayor McCheese.” I’m not sure if McDonaldland had to have an emergency election after the Mayor died, but I’d vote for Grimace.

17 responses

13 12 2007
Allison

Regarding #8, please stay away from Abby’s hair, the kind of gift ribbon you make curl, and price tags on clothing. Also, we need to have a funeral for all of the glasses our dishwasher has killed and the woman at the top of your page is hot.

29 12 2007
Sherri Cornelius

Were your McDonald’s glasses the smoky sports mugs? I have a full set of those, plus two extra Ronalds.

Also, I see in your wife’s comment you’re not supposed to get near Abby’s hair. Is Abby your daughter? My 9yo is named Abby. Just saying.

29 12 2007
indianamatt

Sherri, they were the regular old glasses they used to have, but the sports mugs sound cool, lol.

31 12 2007
Alyson

Any man that openly admits to seeing Bon Jovi is my hero.

I remember my kindergarten teacher commenting on my sheer (pun intended) inability with a pair of scissors. While cutting out a toy soldier at Christmas-time, she told me I should ask santa for some scissors so I could practice.

31 12 2007
indianamatt

Alyson, Bon Jovi was great. I remember when the album BEFORE Slippery When Wet came out, and I told my mom that I wished I could buy stock in a band. The concert was good, even though it was one of their final times being the opening act (for .38 Special). (Have you been practicing your scissors?)

2 01 2008
Alyson

I only got to see them once in the hair days. (NJ tour, I was 11 years old).

I’m a little better with the scissors, but still can’t cut a straight line.

9 01 2008
Red

@ number 9: At least they didnt ask YOU to cut the rope with the scissors. I believe you woulda failed miserably :]

17 01 2008
WC

Regarding #8: What then is your sharp object of choice to recklously run around with?

18 01 2008
Bryan

Regarding #4 “I think the most beautiful part of a woman’s body is the small of the back.” I think you’re just saying that because your wife reads your blog. Am I wrong?

18 01 2008
indianamatt

WC, I do like letter openers, but I only speed walk with them.

Bryan, you’re right. I thought she’d be offended if I told the truth that I really like a woman’s teeth best. Now that I see that in writing, it sounds like I’m the creepy guy with a pit in his basement in “Silence of the Lambs.” I promise I’m not. (Or am I?) No, I’m not. If I ever use the phrase, “It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again” in any of my blogs, it’s just a coincidence.

12 02 2008
Glassowater

Oh my….I have those glasses! I seriously and without a doubt own those glasses. When I cleaned out my house for the move two years ago, I found them all neatly packed away in a box. The mayor McCheese glass is there! I have two of each. I think my mother was hoping they would be collectors items someday. But then she collected everything. We have full sets of all the original trilogy of Star wars glasses as well….too funny!

15 06 2008
jesseybean

#1: I once put on my skates barefoot, and there was a huge water bug that was in it. It was all squished on my foot. I checked everytime after that, and never again skated barefoot. Eck!
#8&9 : It is a good thing that you didnot have to cut the guys string around his neck. He would have been a gonner for sure.

25 06 2008
ladybughugs

Re: #1: I’ll probably never put my shoes on again innocent from the thought that there might be bugs lurking in them. Um, thanks?

15 07 2008
alntv

Dude…Never…Ever…EVER…admit to seeing Barbara Mandrell in concert. EVER!

The rest of the stuff is pretty cool though…

3 09 2008
abritdifferent

I laughed out loud at 2, 3,4, 8 and 10. Of course to laugh at any of the others, I think, would have been fiercely inappropriate. Great list.

P.S. Don’t be a stranger.

22 01 2009
Luke

I’ve read this page before, but I checked it out again to remind myself that you’re a freak. The only reason I’m commenting on this is to tell you to change the word “moi” to “me” or “Mattinator” or something. Moi sounds really, really gay.

1 03 2009
Mike

Just passing by.Btw, you website have great content!

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Making Money $150 An Hour

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